Over the years, my husband developed the Waffle Theory. It’s an apt analogy to raising children. When making waffles, sometimes the batter isn’t prepared properly and it’s too thin or lumpy…not nice and thick and smooth. Similarly, it can be hard to get the heat on the waffle iron just right, and sometimes the waffles get a tad scorched around the edges or totally burned and hardened. Other times they are undercooked and limp.
The first waffle is always the test case and serves as the baseline for future adjustments. The process is essentially a trial-and-error experiment. Sometimes the very first waffle is a winner. On other occasions, the prototype is practically inedible. So, you change things up a bit and hope for a better outcome the next time.
Likewise, parents are complete novices with their firstborn. Children don’t come with instruction booklets like the thick manuals for electronic appliances, so parents are forced to figure things out for themselves. The parenting gig is a bit of a trial-and-error experiment, just like cooking waffles. Parents can be too lax, and the child ends up kind of soft and lumpy. Or they may be unduly strict, and the child chafes and stiffens, developing a hard outer shell. It can be difficult to find the happy medium that allows a child to develop his or her inner strength and become fully baked but not burned. Parents may feel a bit like Goldilocks as they search for a parenting style that is “just right.”
